Disallusioned

Things have not been going well. I got down to 133 lbs and then hit a plateau, or slump. I don't feel like even cooking the right foods. I wish I could just get a feeding tube put in and not think about it. I hate having to think and plan on what I'm going to eat, food is not even that exciting to me right now. I'm more concerned with planning and preparing foods for my kids to eat. My three year old is subsisting on a diet of popsicles, popcorn, pizza, beans and fruit. I have to beg him to take a bite out of a vegetable. My 7 month old is eating everything I give her. She starts with her cereal and fruit in the morning. A teething biscuit mid morning, some rice, veggie and chicken combination lunch, pureed. The occasional prune and apples for afternoon snack and then a veggie like sweet potatoes or peas in the evening. She loves it all. I have to remember that when she starts to refuse to eat someday. They both loved the pancakes I made yesterday. I had the Hodgson's Mill mix and added in some bananas and cottage cheese and we all had a good breakfast. That was the last good meal I remember. Last night I just ate leftovers off my little boy's plate. Whatever he didn't eat I ate bc I was too lazy to even make myself a meal. I didn't even go to yoga yesterday.

So this morning I started with a protein shake and am now having some green tea with soy milk because I have a sore throat and my allergies are taking a toll. I had prepared some chicken salad, the stay on plan chicken salad and it doesn't look appetizing at all. I have green salad ready to go and even that doesn't look appetizing. I have some leftover spaghetti in the fridge and I would normally be all over it except that's what I had for lunch yesterday.

Maybe the weather isn't helping. I have a sore throat, runny nose and headache and have been feeling tired since Monday. All I want to do is step into a steam shower or cover my nose with a hot washcloth bc it's so sore from rubbing with tissue. Geez, what a downer. It's gray and cloudy which is good bc the triple digits have not been so great either. I think I'll just eat soup until I feel better, nothing sounds remotely appetizing. I used to be so much more creative in the kitchen. I think I'm just in a cuisine slump. Time to consult a recipe blog.

Deja Vu All Over Again

It's been so long since I posted but I need my online diet therapy again and my blog is it so here goes.  I had Baby No. 2 in November and I'm just now paying attention to my diet and fitness again.  I totally didn't feel like working out throughout my pregnancy and I'm paying for it now because I have to work harder to get back where I was pre-pregnancy.  I had been at my goal weight and doing ashtanga yoga up until March of 2008.  My yoga teacher recommended not doing ashtanga for the first trimester and then doing modified ashtanga for the second and third trimesters, but after the first tri, I just didn't wanna try anymore.  I ate normal but the lack of exercise really did me in post pregnancy.  For one I didn't lose as much weight this time around post pregnancy.  With my son I shed pounds so fast, mostly due to the breast feeding.  I remember I couldn't keep up my caloric intake fast enough.  But with my daughter, even with the breast feeding, I did not shed pounds other than those that come off with a delivery.  I thought I should start paying closer attention to my diet and get back into a regular fitness routine before the six month mark bc at the six month mark my breast milk will go down to 50% the fat content and it will be that much harder to lose the baby weight.  I've been wearing yoga pant all winter since nothing except my maternity jeans fit.  I finally got into a pair of my fat jeans which I used in my 140 lb days and kept around to use in my last two pregnancies.  They always fit me through the second trimester but they literally fall off my hips when I'm at my goal weight.  

So today I'm starting at 136.6 lbs.  That's what my morning scale smiled back at me.  I started the day with a muscle milk lite shake and then had a rice and shrimp salad for lunch and made spaghetti and turkey meat sauce for dinner.  I need to get more raw greens in tomorrow.  Writing it down really makes a difference when you see what you ate in black and white.  Yesterday I went back to ashtanga, a beginners' class, and it kicked my butt.  I woke up with sore hamstrings and deltoids.  Plus, I was out of breath after three sun salutations so I've got a lot of cardio training ahead of me.  

I plan to follow my own meal plan and fitness program at least until the six month mark and if I am not happy with my progress at that point I will get professional diet help.  I had seen a nutritionist last year to help me follow a meal plan so I need to dig out those sheets again to see which plan to follow.  I had a pregnancy plan which allowed 1850 calories a day, and then a gradual scale to 1650 cal/day, a 1450 cal/day and then a 1350 cal/day.  I actually went up the scale reverse so that I could gradually increase my caloric intake during my pregnancy.  This time I'll be working my way down.  My nutritionist advised me not to go below 1350 cal/day bc at my activity level if I did so I'd not only feel weak all the time but I would lose weight at a very slow rate bc my body would go into starvation mode.  This was a new lesson for me, I thought I had to feel weak and starving to be in weight loss mode, but she was right, the 1150 and 1250 marks made me feel like I couldn't exercise without fainting and I felt miserable for a lot longer.  Since I'm still nursing now I can't cut the calories down too much so I'm going to start at 1850 for the first week and then go down to 1650 the second week but I will do a check at that point to make sure I'm still getting everything I need and go down to 1550.  Any lower than that with exercise might do me some harm.  I will probably need to check in with my nutritionist again to double check my caloric intake against my activity level.  I'm taking the baby to post natal yoga this week to recover, then take two more ashtanga classes this week.  When I get my ashtanga endurance back I'll start running again with the stroller.  I'm too scared to even try to jog right now.  I'll get too easily discouraged with running if I can't do a mile my first time out so I'll go yoga first then running.  

I think the best I can do tomorrow is try to have a salad somewhere in the day and then protein and veggies for dinner.  It's back to meal planning I guess.  After delivery I did not even feel like cooking and it's only now that I even feel like at least cooking dinner again.  My son has been eating rice and beans, frozen pizza and waffles and fruit.  I can't get him to eat many veggies but I've been in the same boat.  I eat spoonfuls of peanut butter because even when I try to cook my baby daughter will wake up.  She's good in her swing for a little while but then she wants out, just long enough for me to open a can of tuna fish.  What I wouldn't give for a personal chef....